I am Responsible for My Life

“The moment you take responsibility for everything in your life is the moment you can change anything in your life.” ~ Hal Elrod

Intuitively we know we are responsible for our lives, but there are times when we hand the reins over to someone else. Here are a few examples of what I mean.

Jane chose the university her parents wanted her to attend, instead of the one she wanted.

Shelly believes her marriage is in trouble because her husband works too much and isn’t doing enough to make her happy. 

Mark is frustrated at work because his manager hasn’t promoted him after five years in the position.  

Jeanette is overweight, but thinks if she made more money, she could afford the gym membership or personal trainer to help her lose the weight.

In each of these examples, the person has in some way abdicated responsibility for their lives, their happiness, or their wellbeing. It’s easy for us to look at these examples and say about Mark, for example, “Why doesn’t he just leave?” or “Has he asked his manager why he hasn’t been promoted?” To Shelly, “Girl, do you” or “Talk to your husband. Maybe he thinks what he’s doing is making you happy.”

We have an answer for these examples, but when we look at ourselves, it may be harder for us to recognize when we unknowingly put someone else in charge of our lives. Perhaps we hold expectations of others that they are somehow accountable for our happiness or wellbeing.

Nothing could be farther from the truth. No one is responsible for your life, but you. Of course, it’s always great when you have helpful actors willing to contribute positively to your life, but they are not responsible for it. At the end of the day, it’s your choices, your decisions that create the life you live. Your happiness is your responsibility. Your wellbeing is contingent upon the decisions you make.

It’s a hard truth to swallow at times, particularly when going through tough times. It’s easier to think it’s because of the teacher, your parents, your significant other, your boss, your friends, or any other person. But as long as you shift accountability for your life to others, you will never walk in your own power. You may even grow resentful of others, when in reality, the choice has always been yours to make.

Responsibility Leads to Inner Freedom

I remember when reading Man’s Search for Meaning by Viktor Frankl, I was struck by Frankl’s account of the men in the concentration camps who, despite their circumstances, walked around encouraging others or giving away their last piece of bread. To me, those men owned their lives and never let someone else, or an unfortunate circumstance control them.

Frankl wrote,

“They may have been few in number, but they offer sufficient proof that everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms – to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way…Every day, every hour, offered the opportunity to make a decision, a decision which determined whether you would or would not submit to those powers which threatened to rob you of your very self, your inner freedom.”

I get that you, nor I, are experiencing anything so horrific and life threatening as what Frankl experienced and wrote about in his book. But there’s an important lesson we can learn from those men. They weren’t waiting on anyone else to determine who they were going to be. They looked at their circumstance, as dire as it was, and decided they were going to exercise their inner freedom by the choices they made.

Taking Responsibility

When we take responsibility for our lives, we don’t put our wellbeing in the hands of another. We take accountability for our decisions, and we “take back ownership for our reality.”

Think about your life right now. Are you in a job that’s unfulfilling or a relationship that does not serve you? Are you unhappy with some aspect of your life – mental, physical, spiritual, financial?

Try saying to yourself, “I am responsible for my life. I am responsible for my life. I am responsible for my life.” Let those words become a mantra that inspires you to act in ways that lead to greater happiness, inner freedom, and wellbeing. Think about the very next decision you can make that would lead you toward the life or the outcome you desire. That’s all. One decision. One step toward the life you want. Let that one step stir the momentum toward you owning your reality.

Please take a moment to listen to this 9-minute meditation that served as inspiration for this article, I AM Responsible: Empowerment Affirmational Prayer  by Vaz Sriharan on Insight Timer.