4 Promises to Make to Yourself Starting Today
“There are thousands of agreements you have made with yourself, with other people, with your dream of life, with God, with society, with your parents, with your spouse, with your children. But the most important agreements are the ones you made with yourself. In these agreements you tell yourself who you are, what you feel, what you believe, and how to behave.” ~ Don Miguel Ruiz, The Four Agreements
As Ruiz says, we make thousands of agreements with ourselves and not all of them support us and the life we want. I started thinking about the ways in which personal agreements show up in our lives. We don’t even realize that we’ve made pacts with ourselves, but in essence, we have, and they govern our lives.
I thought: What if we make these agreements explicit so that we can consciously choose the agreements that support us instead of the ones that don’t?
Here are some agreements you may have made with yourself, unknowingly, that are not in service to you living your best life. Which of these rings true for you?
- Staying within your comfort zone instead of pursuing the goals and dreams within your heart.
- Settling in a relationship for fear of being alone or hurting someone else.
- Equating your sense of self with the type of job you have or your material possessions.
- Caring for everyone else but leaving yourself to feel depleted and maybe even resentful.
- Comparing yourself to others as a measuring stick of who you are and your value.
These are agreements or “contracts” that people make with themselves that have dire consequences for their happiness and quality of life.
Recently, on a long walk with my dog, Marley, one morning, I thought about the promises I was willing to make to myself. I’m sharing these with you because I believe these promises, similar to Ruiz’s four agreements, will change your life.
The Four Promises to Make to Yourself Starting Today:
1) I will not lie to myself. The first promise sets the tone for all the others. When you say you’re going to do something, do it. Living by this promise to be truthful with yourself makes you more aware of the commitments you make. Start with something small, such as “I will eat healthy today” or “I will be present in this conversation.” Then seal your commitment with the promise, “I will not lie to myself.” When you make a promise to yourself and keep it, you build self-trust.
2) I will love myself. When you love someone, you want to spend time with them. You listen to them. You show your appreciation for them. You use words of affection and affirmation. You prioritize them. Now, let that someone be you. When you act in loving ways toward yourself, you build self-love.
3) I will forgive myself. Sometimes we are our harshest judge. We hold onto things from our past that bar us from the future we want. Instead, commit to letting go of past mistakes. They are in the past. You can learn from them, but don’t let yourself and your life be held hostage by them. When you let go of past wrongs or hurts, you build self-acceptance.
4) I will care for myself. Your wellbeing is important, and it is your responsibility. Care for your mental, emotional, physical, spiritual, and financial wellbeing. What commitments can you make daily that will support your wellbeing? Think about activities that reduce stress and that fuel your mind, body, and soul. It could be practicing mindfulness, having a conversation with a friend, praying, going for a walk, eating healthy, setting boundaries, or reducing your spending. When you make commitments that prioritize your wellbeing, you build self-care.
If you make these four promises to yourself, I’m confident that you will be happier, healthier, and more at peace within yourself.
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